There are plenty of times in my life when I have literally missed the bus, running with legs flopping in all directions or on my toes with my feet turned out as if I were a ballerina leaving the stage. Certainly, we all have “missed the bus” when it comes to repairing relationships or grabbing on to an opportunity. But what happens when missing the bus becomes the impetus to change and grow or to just DO IT! Whatever IT is. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be on my way to Oxford, because one year ago, almost to the day, I missed the bus back to London from Oxford.

Before that fateful day, my impressions of Oxford were built on books, Inspector Morris and Inspector Lewis, and travel and history shows. My dream was to study History in Oxford. That dream never materialized, yet the possibility of Oxford followed me as a certainty. Last March as I walked alone in Oxford for the day, the realization hit me. All the reasons for putting aside my dream had skedaddled (to put it mildly) and it seemed that there are times in one’s life when doing the impractical becomes the practical thing to do. Standing on High Street in the rain, I concluded two things.

First, I am in a unique position where I can chase my dreams without hurting anyone in my life. My running off to England jeopardizes no other person’s happiness. Yes, I’ll miss my family and yes, they will worry about me. But my running away shows them that adversity is overcome – that we are in charge of our own happiness. Kate Morton in “The Forgotten Garden” reflected on this when one of her characters stated,  “You make a life out of what you have, not what you’re missing.”

And let’s face it. My children can use a break from “Momwatch”.

The recent deluge of books and articles on finding happiness is reflective of the wanting of our souls for something meaningful in our lives. We throw away old things because new things make us happy. We chase the dream of success only to find that each rung up the ladder takes us further away from the ground we call our soul. More money, the perfect spouse, the best clothes, and the approval of others offer new chances for happiness. Okay, I hear the chorus behind me and I feel the pointing fingers. I suppose that is exactly what I am doing. I’m looking for happiness. My mother said what everyone in my life is thinking. “I hope you aren’t expecting a radical change in your life with this trip.”

The radical change happened already. I just figure that even though loneliness might follow me to England, at least I will be lonely in a different place.

The second realization that hit me as the rain cleansed my soul there on the Oxford High Street?

An umbrella wouldn’t come amiss.