This year, Verizon, a cell phone service provider, is promoting phone-less holidays. Phones, like politics and religion, aren’t welcome additions to the dinner table. Thirty minutes to converse and gorge oneself isn’t too long to be phone-free. There was a time when I might have agreed with the no more phones for the holidays (after we’ve made it through the woods and over the river to Grandmother’s house). This year, I beg to differ, reserving my constitutional right to change an opinion. This year, I spent Thanksgiving alone.

Sounds pretty pathetic. To be upfront, it was a conscious decision to stay home after my last long road trip. I must confess, though, I woke up this Thanksgiving Day morning with the sole purpose of just making it through the day. Within the hour, my mood had changed from melancholy to happy, all because of my cell phone. Messages arrived from family and friends. Messages with a simple “Happy Thanksgiving” and my reply with a “Happy Thanksgiving to you!” connected me to the caring people in my life. I texted those I hadn’t heard from yet with that two word greeting. By mid-morning the day was filled with gratitude for my good fortune. It was time to bake a pie.

The next thing was to clean my apartment and get it ready for all of those family and friends who would join me for dinner. I showered, put the turkey in the oven, and although I set the table for one, you all joined me for that dinner, your presence reminding me of the blessings in my life and the abundance I often take for granted.

We didn’t talk about politics (well you didn’t; I had plenty to say) and religion remained at the spiritual level. Our conversation turned to the ways we are all connected. How fear makes us strike out at each other. How it is just as easy to smile at someone as frown. How there may be victors in war, but there are no winners, something I learned in my travels, gaining a greater understanding of our supposed enemies.* People, like us, trying to get on with life.

We (okay, I) took a walk along the river and listened to what the water had to say. (No cable TV.) After the water reminded me to bring a scarf next time, it also pointed out that while writing about gratitude and forgiveness at Thanksgiving is a bit cliché, there is a reason certain things are considered clichés and overused. There is a bit of truth in a cliché – it says or describes something in a universal way, and sometimes it really is the best phrase to use. The challenge is to carry that overused and often fleeting feeling of gratitude into our daily lives. How bad can overusing “Thank you” be?

There is a problem with inviting the idea of people to my table. It is hard to identify any annoying tendencies in my guests when I’m missing them. It means there has to be more reflection on the self — something I like to ignore. My tendency to hold grudges is a well-known fact (see reference to fourth grade in earlier post) and it is one of the shadows I struggle with and rarely overcome. Trying to deny this flaw is like trying to pretend I didn’t eat pie for breakfast this morning — the evidence is in the missing piece and my rumbling gut. Maybe I can deal with this one character flaw by making sure that those persons I hold responsible for my injustices are actually guilty. (By the way, I have the evidence, and you know who you are, that you did indeed take a picture with my Brownie camera.)

Maybe we shouldn’t hold entire countries, religions, political parties, cultures, or particular high school groups accountable for our own fears and our own insecurities. Many of my posts talk about the world wars from the allied perspective, because I am American and was traveling in the UK in the centenary year of WWI, but ordinary people all over the world suffered and continue to suffer because of violence or wars fought over political or religious beliefs they do not share with their leaders. Maybe we (I) should try to be more tolerant of the people around us.

So next Thanksgiving, when we are ready to throw the turkey at Uncle Burt or tie up an over-sugared child, let’s excuse ourselves, find our phones, and text everyone a

                                           Happy Thanksgiving!

*The full quote attributed to Neville Chamberlain: “In war, whichever side may call itself the victor, there are no winners, but all are losers.”