My hotel in Stratford-Upon-Avon is a couple of streets away from Shakespeare’s birthplace and about a quarter of a mile from his grave. This morning I walked a mile to see the cottage and gardens of his wife, Anne Hathaway. Stratford is part of the pilgrimage for English scholars who pay homage to the poet. Shakespeare is big business in Stratford-Upon-Avon. Everyone is involved, including the Trinity Church ladies who participate in the ultimate bake sale as they serve tea to tourists visiting Shakespeare’s grave. So what am I doing with my precious time here? I’m watching football.

There aren’t many obvious connections between me and football or football and Shakespeare, but if we look at it in mathematical terms, football connects me to Shakespeare. So if A(me) + B(football) = B(football) + C(Shakespeare), then A=C. And before anyone gets in a huff, I know this is not a sound application of the transitive theory of equalities. I can prove I’m a mild fan of football. I cannot prove Shakespeare loved the game. Let’s just assume here.

A+B. My sport was tennis, yet I have always had a desire to play soccer. I first learned about soccer through my cafeteria job in college. The cafeteria was the dining hall for the men’s soccer team. Both of my sons played a season or two of youth soccer, although they soon preferred other sports like baseball, biking, or golf. I admit that I have been a fickle fan through the years. Lately, I’ve followed Real Salt Lake.

A few years ago, my son gave me a University of Utah soccer ball for Christmas. It took weeks before the snow melted and I could take my ball out for its maiden voyage over the mud in our backyard. I laced up my trainers. I touched my toes to stretch my legs. I jogged a bit to warm up. I ran up to my pristine white and red ball and I kicked it along the muddy ground, experiencing the exhilaration of movement after a long winter. Then I watched as my German Shepherd stole the ball and carried it away. She loved that ball to shreds.

B+C. According to the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust, football was played in Shakespeare’s time and was the second deadliest sport next to archery. The game was more of a “mob football” played between villages and towns and attracted rebels who played in an “unruly” way. Football was played with a blown-up pig’s bladder in the Elizabethan era.

Shakespeare references football in King Lear, (Act I Scene IV) when Kent calls Oswald “a base football player”.

In A Comedy of Errors, Act II, Dromo of Eppheseus responds to Adriana:

Am I so round with you as you with me,

That like a football you do spurn me thus?

Henry IV is my next connection. According to Wikipedia, Henry IV issued a proclamation banning the “levying of money for ‘foteball’”. This week I will attend a performance of Shakespeare’s Henry IV.

Let me take this moment to thank all those genuine football fans who bothered to scan Shakespeare’s plays for any references to football.

A=C. Therefore, watching the World Cup with Shakespeare makes perfect sense.

GO USA!